Charming British Speech Etiquette

The Speech Etiquette of the British

In no other country historically connected to the UK is it common to address complete strangers as "love," "sweetheart," or "darling." I absolutely love this about the British!

It's hard to find a direct equivalent in Russian. While elderly people in Russia might refer to younger ones as "милая" or "голубчик," such terms would generally be seen as overly familiar. For the British, however, it's simply a casual way of addressing others.

Of course, many of them don’t even notice it anymore, but there are a few guidelines for usage:

💙 These terms are most commonly used by people over 40; the modern generation tends to favor safer options like "mate" or "friend."
💙 A woman can address anyone as "love," while a man may only use it towards a woman (men don’t use it among themselves).
💙 You’re most likely to hear these terms in shops and cafés.
💙 In the workplace, it may be used if the environment is more casual (like in a pub).
💙 Usage can also vary by region; for example, in northern England, you might hear "pet" (which also means a household pet).

The exact etymology of "pet" is unclear. Some suggest it may stem from the Scottish word "peata" (meaning spoiled child) or be a shortening of "petal."

You may also hear terms like "duck," "chuck," "hun" (short for honey), and in some areas, even "flower."

Interestingly, sometimes the difference between these terms is quite subtle. For instance, while "sweetheart" and "duck" are commonly used, "sweetie" and "duckie" might carry sarcasm or a patronizing tone.

I once encountered a waste collector in a narrow passage, and he said to me, "Oh, sorry, pumpkin!" Considering I was wearing a bright yellow-orange puffer jacket, I think he chose that term for a reason.

Then there was a funny encounter with a cashier at Sainsbury's. Surrounded by piles of boxes, she was clearly busy stocking items. I needed to get to her since I couldn't buy my items at the self-checkout. She finally notices me and glances at the clock:

• "Half past two already... Oh, fuck off!"
• …
• "Do you have a points card, love?"

For the British, this kind of language doesn't mean much, but each time I hear it, it brings a warmth to my heart, even if just moments earlier I had been met with "fuck off."